Tired Eyes

I am a little tired so this post will not be a long one. Today was a busy busy day - filled with chatting with friends who are far away and whom I miss, painting (which is always a favorite activity), a baseball game and peach tea. But it is also filled with nervous thoughts. I know in my heart everything will be ok - there's still that lingering thought in my head - The dreaded "what if".
Anyway - everything is going to be fine, I am just a worrier. That's what we do in my family. We stew and we worry.

Goodnight.

Quote of the Day:

luck never gives: it only lends.

-Ancient Chinese Proverb

A change is gonna come

Today was a very fun and relaxing day I must say. I got to spend time with all my favorite little ones and got to swim in the pool and soak up some sun. It's funny how fast they are growing up. The little ones I mean. Even though some of them are not so little anymore and are growing up right in front of my eyes. It makes me feel oh so old. For example, I can remember when the oldest was born. That was almost 8 years ago! Oh how the time has just flown by.
I have also had some sad thoughts today. I am leaving in about 25 days. And yes I am just going to back to school and that's no different, but I am really moving away. Moving into an apartment and embarkin gon my life. I mean it's not like I'm moving far away or anything or that I'm never coming back. It's just different now. This is the last summer I'll be home. No more christmas breaks even at home. It almost brings a tear to my eye. I will miss seeing the little ones grow up day to day, or even month to month. Times are a-changing... yes ma'am. Can you feel it in the wind?
Well this is all I have for now....

Stranger

It's been awhile since I had a real post up so I thought since I have the time now, I should do it while I have the chance.

I have been home for awhile now and when I first got home it was all about the job search. So that took up a lot of my time. However, it seems that the job search was a little bit of a futile quest seeing as though most of the temp agencies didn't seem to have anything for me. They only had temp-hire positions (which obviously wouldn't work because I am moving back up to Fairfax in the middle of July) or they told me I didn't have enough experience. But just when I thought all hope had been lost... Protemps immediately found a job for me. The woman told me it was a temp-hire position but just not to mention that to the client. So I didn't and I assumed that I would be working there for awhile, possibly until I left to go back. But that excitement was short-lived because apparently I was either fired or somehow the client found out that I wasn't going to be there much longer. My theory is that they tried to offer me a full-time position (which they would've had to call the angency first) and then the agency was probably obligated to tell them when I was leaving. Well that is the story that I'm clinging to because, well let's face it, it's a lot easier on the ego to believe that then to just think I was fired. But I must say I was really thrown off by the whole thing - I left the office on Friday and everyone there was saying see you on Monday - and then BAM, don't bother showing up on monday they say. Anyways, now that I have gotten over that and I can rest easier at night, I am still jobless. Sad I know. So I think I'm going to start utting effort into finding a job at school because it's pretty much to late to be worrying about working at home. I only have 26 days left here. There really is no point.

Other than that, life at home proves to be pretty boring. SHOCKING I know. But I keep telling myself that it will be over soon and then the dreams of my fabulous apartment will finally be a reality.

I also wanted to take this chance to post some new paintings that I have finished... Both for my sisters for their birthdays. I like the way they turned out and I think I did ok with matching the concept to the sister. Well I at least tried to create something that would coordinate with their existing home decor. SO without further adieu...

You can also see these on my photo website which is a work in progress at the moment. I'm trying to put a lot of my photos up there so then it is easier to share with the fam and what not. The url for that site is just http://selena170.myphotoalbum.com

In other brief news... I really like Hilary Duff's new cd and especially this song... And if you want to hear the video than just pause the music on the side first.

That is all for now
Check ya later.

Laughing...

This video really makes me laugh... I don't know why, it just does. And I think Graham Norton is hilarious but that's just me.

Sex on the beach... then you woke up!

Thank you for being a friend...

goodnight.

I don't know what a Hollaback girl is... all I know is I want her dead

Ok I have a few videos that I want to share with you...
First, here is a family guy video and I must say it really makes me laugh. I love this show because it is so my sense of humor. Completely random and smart. When I was first introduced to this show I thought it was stupid. (And the certain someone who introduced it to me likes to point out a lot that I didn't like it at first) I vaguely remember saying something like "It's a cartoon, aren't we a little old to be watching cartoons?" No - it's a cartoon for adults and it's hilarious. So watch and laugh. Would you like an apple pie with that?



Now let's take it in another direction. I love this video and all the Anaheim ballet videos. Very awesome. It makes me wish I could go back in time and study dance. I always wanted to dance but my parents always said they didn't have the money for me to take class so I guess I just forgot about it. But then in college I took a beginning ballet class with a couple friends to get our fine arts credit. And yes it was entertaining for reasons we won't get into now, it was also eye opening. I really enjoyed the class actually. And the teacher also told me, between the "you could use a few extra crunches" remarks, she told me I had good natural feet. So the lightbulb went off in my head at that moment - I probably would've been a pretty succesful dancer. I definitely wouldn't be in the shape that I am in now, that's for sure. But coulda woulda shoulda. Maybe one day I will take some classes, but in the meantime I can enjoy these videos of the Anaheim Ballet and live vicariously. So here's a little taste...



Anyways, I have future plans for many more paintings and I can't wait to start on them. My summer is going to be filled with art. I might even try to sell some of my paintings. As I finish them I will post pictures for all to see. My latest - which I call "Caldera" is in the previous post that I did earlier in case you missed it.
Ok that is all for now.


keepyourpointeontheglobe.

Another Down

Here is the next finished project. The picture isnt very good, my camera's battery is dying and I couldn't find anymore batteries so this is the best I could do. But I must run and clean my mess and watch "Criminal Minds". (Love that show)
Maybe more later...

Row Row Row your Boat...

Ok here it is - the finished product. I must say I'm pretty happy with it. Although I could spend probably another year making changes to it and I will never be happy. I know this about myself, so I have to tell myself to put down the paintbrush before I really mess it up.
I am giving this painting to my roommate for her birthday tomorrow. She loves boats and pictures of boats, hence what I decided to paint for her. But I like it because it is cropped and it's not typical.
Anyways, work is becoming more and more exhausting. I really don't know how to help this child and I have almost accepted the fact that it's not going to happen on my watch. But I have to hope that one day it will get better - at least for the parents' sake. He's a tough kid and has some deep rooted issues. What it is, I'm not sure really, but I know that it's a lot bigger than not wanting to do his homework or being irresponsible. There is a rage there. And hopefully one day he will be able to conquer that. He is truly a smart and good kid. I can see that. Anyone can see that. I just pray that one day his attitude will improve.

I'm really looking forward to coming home this weekend! It will be a nice break right before exams start. But I'm happy to say that I'm really not that worried about my exams.

Ok who noticed my awesome music player over there ------------------>
Pretty sweet eh? Now you can listen to the music that I love!
Oh snap.

Truth of my Youth

There was a time and place
Where I never thought
I'd leave my own hometown
But those days finally
Are dead and gone,
It was never my intention to stay there,
Oh no.

There was a conscious effort played by me
To disown anything I see.
There was a girl I knew
Way back when,
Who says she doesn't know me anymore.
These are the lies the things you never mention.
These are my past, mistakes I'll stay away from.

These are my thoughts written down on paper,
It's my only savior
From not saying what I want to say.
These are the thoughts that are on my mind,
Moments that haven't yet been defined,
And I don't know if you could ever understand,
These are the things I can't say when we're alone.

There were countless hours on the telephone
My ears were ringing from the dial tone,
There were flashing lights,
People staring,
There was nothing I could ever do.
These are the lies the things you never mention,
These are my past mistakes I'll stay away from.

This is the truth,
The only time you'll hear it.
I'll write it down because it seems so hard to say it,

These are my thoughts written down on paper,
It's my only savior,
From not saying what I want to say,
These are the thoughts that are on my mind,
Moments that haven't yet been defined,
And I don't know if you could ever understand,
These are the things I can't say when we're alone.

Different Strokes for Different Folks

So I am painting again. It seems to keep me at a relatively normal level of sanity. However, I am oh so hard on my own work. I am a perfectionist what can I say. When I paint it, to me it looks like crap. Others like it, but i can't really see it. Once in High school I made a painting for an english project and one of the kids in my class bought it from me because he liked it so much. I think he was on some kind of drugs though. No really. Big druggie. But he still bought it nonetheless and I made money. It's kind of like when my mom says not to start decorating those cookies or sketch before you paint - because she knows that I will get frustrated because it won't look exactly the way I want. And right now as I sit here and look at the painting I started - I hate it right now. It's too dark and the colors aren't blending like I picture them in my head. And I am giving this painting as a gift so hopefully it will live up to my expectations in the end. But I don't know. Right now it's ugly. We shall see. But even when I think it's ugly - the activity of painting still makes me happy. So that makes it ok.
On another happy note - classes are basically over, but we all know what that means. I'm not really worried about my finals so it's not that. Classes over = MOVING. And I HATE moving. HATE HATE HATE. I hate packing and I hate moving. I can't think of anything else right now that I hate more. Well maybe my painting. KIDDING. I hate moving way more.
But right now I am exhausted so it's off to bed.


TTFN

Knocked up

I saw this movie in a screening last week and it is now officially my favorite movie. It's called "Knocked Up" and it stars Katherine Heigl, we all know her as Izzie Stevens from Grey's. But the movie is about a one night stand that leads to a pregnancy, and honestly it is just hilarious. I think my favorite line is "Married life is like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond... but it's not funny.. And it doesn't last 22 minutes..... It lasts forever." And I must say that the screaming during childbirth vaguely reminds me of someone I know. Hmmm. = ) Anyways, Enjoy the trailer, it will make you laugh. And we all need a few laughs these days.




Carry on.

Gnomes!

Is it sad that I can still sing this theme song even though I haven't watched the show in almost 20 years. Boy does that make me feel/sound old. Anyways David the gnome was one of my many favorites. Enjoy.

Friday

Friday, April 20, 2007

Orange and Maroon Effect Day
Support families of Virginia Tech students by wearing orange and maroon.
(Nation wide participation)

Great.

Hee-larious.

Interesting website. Sad.

http://newsbloggers.aol.com/2007/04/17/cho-seung-huis-plays/

So much to say

Just like most of you out there, I'm sure you are glued to your televisions about this incident at Virginia Tech. And I must say that it is hard for me to watch the coverage. For many reasons:

1. It makes me upset to hear all the finger pointing - like the university should've done this and should've done that. But of course it's easy to look back and say this is what should've been done. Hindsight is always so much clearer. The school and its officials did everything they were supposed to do. There was no way they could've known what was going to unfold. And if they had any idea, any kind of inkling - they would've reacted differently. I know it. And trust me, they don't need the finger pointed at them, they feel responsible enough and its probably something they will think about for the rest of their lives. They don't need to be punished by the public because I am sure they are already punishing themselves. Furthermore, you can't stop a crazy person. He was determined, I mean he chained the doors shut. He chained the doors. So no one could get out and no one could get in. The police had to blow up the door to get in. He was crazy. Sick. There's only so much you can do with a person like that. And also, people in college these days know how easy it is to get into a building even if you are not a student. Yes you have to swipe your card to get into the building, but I can stand by the door and get in right behind someone. And just like at VT, he (the gunman) could easily hide himself in the crowd. Just like VT, GMU is huge.

2. It can happen anywhere. It could've been here. If that same scenario played out here, on the same day, I was in class at that time. If it was here, it could've been me. I can't help but think that. And I really admire the students' strength, because if it was here I don't know if I could be that strong. I mean this is going to affect them for the rest of their lives. But not just that. It affects everyone. It affects me, probably more than I realize now. Everytime the door opens in your classroom, you just wonder. Who is about to walk in? You never know. You almost tense up a little. Call me overdramatic I don't care. But I'm sure there are others who feel as I do. If it was here it could've been me.

3. The South Korean gunman, Cho Seung- hui, is from here. About 8 miles from here. Centreville. He was a resident alien, which means he was allowed to be here whether it was temporary or permanent, he had a green card, but he was not a citizen of this country. So someone tell me why he was able to purchase a gun from a gun store. Because that's where he got one of the guns the friday before. Honestly? I don't want to hear the NRA and their stupid excuse of an arguement of "Guns don't kill people, people kill people". That angers me because you know what, this could've been avoided if he was unable to purchase a weapon. He would not have been able to shoot 32 people without a gun. So my 2 points here are that a.) there need to be some kind of gun control laws in this country. Why is it in America we have such an issue with that? I'll tell you why. Because it's a huge front. Almost unbeatable. Republicans need to wake up. No one cares if you hunt, but why does anyone need a semi-automatic weapon? Why does anyone need the capability to shoot off 32 shots in a matter of minutes and be able to reload in 3 seconds. Someone tell me why a regular citizen needs that kind of power. It's ridiculous and how many more shootings and massacres is it going to take in this country to have a change made? And why is it that America is the only country with this issue? Gun control laws. Other countries have much stricter and better laws and look, you don't hear about 32 students being shot at school in other countries. The gun was too easy to get, and if you want someone to blame, then blame the government for looking the other way. Which leads me to point B. This kid was not a citizen of this country. And I guess I will preface this arguement by saying I am all for immigration. I have no problems with people coming to this country to have a better life. I'm glad they are here. But it infuriates me that someone who is not a citizen has so many benefits in this country. They can get a driver's license, they can get jobs and they can even get in-state tuition at our universities. It's hard for me to understand how people justify that. Oh here's their arguement.. They work for cheap and bring money into this country. Seriously? Whatever happened to integrity and nationality? It flies out the window when money and greed come into the picture. Something needs to be done, what it is I don't know, but something. Maybe if it was their child or friend who died in such a massacre they would think twice.

For now that is all the ranting I can handle. Too many thoughts. Too much to digest.

True.

There are no words. Just watch.

Dear Love....

One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists. A song written to the emotion of Love.

Love, so many people use your name in vain.
Love, but those who have faith in you sometimes go astray.
Love, through all the ups and downs and joys and hurts.
Love, for better or worse I still will choose you first.


goodnight.

Kalimera

This is probably the best video I have ever seen for 2 reasons:

1. It makes me laugh. (Uh maybe I am on diet)
2. Frappes are good.


If you dont have a mixer though I have learned you can use a bottle, maybe a water bottle of some kind and mix the water, nescafe, and sugar in the bottle and shake it. Works I swear. Very Foamy. Enjoy. It makes me want one right now. Thelo ena kafe =)



ok goodnight. Yassas

The Selfish Giant

People are selfish. That's pretty much a known fact. Most of the world's population is completey and utterly selfish. They don't care how their actions affect the ones around them. Sometimes not even the people who you think are your friends. You want to think that if they knew the situation you were in, then they would act differently. Well if you thought that, then you would be wrong. Because like I said, people are selfish. They are in it for no one else but themselves. Sometimes you don't even know the people that your action affects, amd sometimes you know them well and do it anyway. Those are the kind, the kind that blatantly disregard others' feelings, those are the ones to cut out of your life. Those are the ones who only listen to you when it's convenient for them. Or those are the ones who would rather sit on their ass all summer instead of getting a job and keeping a promise. There are too many good people out there to let people like that waste your time. My parents used to call them "Fair weather friends". And you would think that I would be used to them, and able to spot them from a mile away after growing up in the town I did. But that never happens. Because those people will sneak up on you and disappoint or hurt you everytime. EVERYTIME. So there it is. Take it or leave it. Do with it what you may. But heed my warning. Put it in your pocket and learn from my mistakes.