In anger and sadness...

Yes. Enough said. The perfect songs for right now.

Guanajuato

I arrived in Mexico on Sunday and I must say it is quite a culture shock. And I must add that as I am typing this, it is very hard to think in English so con permiso or forgive me. The first day was the worst day. As I am about to get off the bus to meet my Mama Mexicana, all I can think is Ok here goes. My expectations of Mexico were pretty much comprised of what we see on the news, although of course that should be taken with a grain of salt, and what I have learned in my classes at Mason. Some of these things I have seen here do live up to these expectations, good and bad, and some not so much. However, I digress. So I meet my Mama Mexicana, Pilar, and she is the nicest and warmest person, which helped so much because I was scared out of my mind as it was. In the taxi to her house we talk about family, what I like to eat and other various mundane things and then as I look to my left I see Mexican police brutality in full force. There is a truck of full of policia. They are all wearing those black masks and carry huge machine guns, as they are scanning the streets for other sospechosos, or suspects if you will. In the meantime on the street 3 policia are throwing a woman to the ground, as she is fighting back, and literally stuffing her in the truck. Yes literally. Ok so to see this maybe after I have been here a few days ok, but imagine... I just got off the plane and it was like on the right you will see the beautiful Teatro Juarez and on the left police brutality. Welcome to Guanajuato. Oh and I forgot that when we got off the plane, there were miltary men lining the runway. Odd, no? I thought so.

But regardless of that, Guanajuato is one of the safest cities in Mexico. So the first day I really just wanted to cry honestly. I dont think I have ever felt that alone in my life. I mean can you imagine... It is not just a strange city, but they speak a different language and you dont know anyone. Ok granted I do speak spanish but still I dont have to speak it or even use it everyday. It was a little rusty I must say. But after the first 2 days I would say that it started to become normal. I can tell you right now, as I am typing this that about 90 percent of what I am typing is coming into my head in spanish first. Im losing my english.

Guanajuato is a beautiful city though. It is so strange to think that I am walking on the exact same streets... ok not the exact same because they changed most of them from piedras to ladrillos, but when the Spaniards were here they walked to the Basilica taking the same streets that I take everyday. That might make me a nerd that I think about that as I walk to school but that is ok, I have been called worse. When I get home I will upload pictures to share because the city is just awesome.

Having said that... I am ready to come home. I know it is probably muy mal that I am counting down the days until I land back in the U.S. I mean, I am fine here, but it is not home. And honestly I never thought I would miss home as much as I do. It is something that is really hard to explain. The more I am here, the more I like it, overall. I am getting used to it here, the language, the people etc. And I honestly do like it and would not trade this experience for anything. But at the same time, it is not home. That is the only way I can think to explain it really. Es un poco triste, pero a lo mismo tiempo no. Plus I feel like I am missing things at home, like I am disconnected. I dont like that feeling at all. It really does not help that I cant even talk to people on the phone, and even texting doesnt really work that well. Hopefully this week will fly by and before you know it, I will be back in Los Estados Unidos. Ok enogh thoughts for now, it is time for lunch.

Buen dia

"Pay up or Die"

An article and some of my own thoughts I wanted to share...

This article talks about the escalating violence in Guatemala City that is being perpetuated by street gangs. The human rights group Grupo de Apoyo Mutuo has reported that in this year alone they have lost 175 members to his type of street violence. The main reason for this is basically for intimidation and extortion. The gangs demand that these drivers pay them sums of money and if they refuse than they will be targeted. One driver in particular was left paralyzed from the waist down after his bus was flagged down and he stopped. When he opened the door a young child pulled out a gun and shot him in his spine. He now is forced to rely on his family and other ways to make money. Although he is able to drive a modified bus, he believes it is too dangerous and resorts to selling toys in one of the most troublesome neighborhoods in Guatemala City, Zona 18.

In response to these murders, the Guatemalan army and police have offered security to the bus drivers in order to better protect them. However, there are not always officers available and they cannot be present on all of the routes. Citizens have proposed a type of pre-pay system in which patrons can buy tickets to the bus ahead of time, alleviating the presence of cash on the city buses. They hope that with the lack of money on the bus, the motivation for the crimes will be eradicated. But then one may ask the question, if not the bus drivers then wouldn't the violence just be focused on another group? If they alleviate the threat to bus drivers, than it is possible for taxi drivers to be targeted instead. Although the pre-paid tickets would be a good temporary solution, it will not solve the escalating violence problem in the city, it will only transfer it. In addition to this, the whole city's infrastructure would have to be changed and that could and probably would take years. Because the driver's feel a lack of support from the government, they believe that the only way for them to survive is to give in to the gang's every demand. This again, just broadens the reach of the violence because there is no resistance and absolutely no accountability with all of the murderers still walking the streets. It is also true that some believe that these murders are not just monetarily motivated. They could just be a smoke screen to what these street gangs would like to cover up. For example, if the police and government are focused on the murders and robberies, than they will either turn a blind eye or even forget about their real source of income – drug trafficking.

Another part of the article talks about the Guatemalan government paying pensions to the family of the deceased bus drivers. Although this is a great program, I would like to see more focus on stopping the crimes altogether. I believe that keeping the youth off of the street and in school will greatly help to reduce the rising crime rate in Guatemala City. For example, a young child shot the bus driver at the beginning of this article. Most likely, either this child believed they had no other option but to join this gang, whether financial or social, or he was violently forced. If you give a child an education many doors will be opened for them, and most likely the door to a gang will be slammed shut.


Article and picture from BBC

Twilight

Yes. I am now officially obsessed with Twilight. I tried to avoid it really. But I saw the movie and then started reading the books and BAM it was too late. The books are so good. I read the first one in less than a week even though I knew what was going to happen because I saw the movie.

I think it appeals to women/girls because every woman is looking for an "Edward". I mean minus the whole vampire thing of course. Even though as you're reading, you find yourself going "C'mon really? No man would ever say these things to you". But that's the beauty of a fantasy right? A girl can dream. And it doesn't hurt that the image of "Edward" in my head is Robert Pattinson. (Since I saw the movie first and then read the books) He's very attractive except for the crazy hair. It's funny how I have seen and read that all these girls/women go crazy for his hair. I personally think it looks like an out of control case of bedhead. Maybe that's the point. wink wink. Regardless, I like a man that has his hair under control, like it is in the movie. I don't know why I'm rambling on about hair, so let me get to the point - Im easily distracted as you know. My point is that you should read the books and watch the movie because I didn't think I would like it and now look at me. I'm another one of those "twilighters" or whatever the kids are calling it these days.

And can I just say that this whole Twitter thing is out of control and I'm tired of hearing about it and talking about it.

One of my other favorite things right now is the new Kelly Clarkson CD. It is wonderful and you should buy it. I think a lot of these songs couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. They really expresss some of the same things that I am going through right now. So I will leave you with "Already Gone"...

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would have worked out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die...

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop...

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry
It started with the perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know
It doesn't matter where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Stupid

I am so sick of someone always trying to make me feel bad about myself and making little comments about everything. Just because you are insecure doesn't give you the right to bring others down. And DON'T ARGUE WITH SOMEONE WHEN YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. TRYING TO SOUND "SMARTER" BY REPEATING THE SAME IGNORANT COMMENT OVER AND OVER MAKES YOU LOOK AND SOUND EVEN MORE UNINTELLIGENT. THINK FOR YOURSELF. I'd rather be lonely than be around you a lot of days.

I have a dream

I have a dream
A song to sing
To help me cope
With anything
If you see the wonder
Of a fairy tale
You can take the future
Even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream

I have a dream
A fantasy
To help me through
Reality
And my destination
Makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness
Still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
I'll cross the stream
I have a dream
I'll cross the stream

I have a dream

Let it Be Me

There comes a time,
A time in everyone's life
When nothing seems to go your way,
When nothing seems to turn out right

There may come a time,
You just can't seem to find your place
For every door you open,
Seems like you get two slammed in your face

That's when you need someone,
Someone that you, you can call.
When all your faith is gone,
It feels like you can't go on

Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend that you need
Let it be me
Let it be me

Feels like you're always comin' up last
Pockets full of nothin' ain't got no cash
No matter where you turn
You ain't got no place to stand
You reach out for somethin' and they slap your hand

I remember all too well
Just how it feels to be all alone
To feel like you'd give anything
For just a little place you can call your own

That's when you need someone,
Someone that you, you can call
When all your faith is gone
It feels like you can't go on

Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend you need,
Let it be me
Let it be me

You're Not Sorry

Taylor Swift Lyrics
You%27re Not Sorry Lyrics

Merry Christmas to all and to all a GOODNIGHT.

Quantum Physics Knock Knock Jokes

Hilarious right?

The Driveway

After twelve, not so well
Won't pretend it's too soon to tell
What's 'round this bend
No disgrace... about face...
Anything not to have to chase
You down again

You know
Nothing hurts like losing
When you know it's really gone
Except for the pain of choosing
To hold too long

I tried it your way
But I got nothing to show
It's been the same
And the story's getting old
So I guess the driveway
Will be the end of the road
For us it's too late
Let the credits start to roll

A lot to say, but not today
Let the radio break the silence
As we drive
A kiss goodbye, not this time
Don't remember what about this song
I ever liked

I thought we were getting somewhere
But we're still nowhere at all
I watch your tail lights fading
I try but the tears wont fall
I remember what it feels like to know
Love and have it taken away
Can't think of what I learned right now
But I'll be thanking you someday

Miley Cyrus

McCain and Palin Are Playing With Fire

By Khaled Hosseini
Sunday, October 12, 2008; Page B05 Washington Post

I prefer to discuss politics through my novels, but I am truly dismayed these days. Twice last week alone, speakers at McCain-Palin rallies have referred to Sen. Barack Obama, with unveiled scorn, as Barack Hussein Obama.
Never mind that this evokes -- and brazenly tries to resurrect -- the unsavory, cruel days of our past that we thought we had left behind. Never mind that such jeers are deeply offensive to millions of peaceful, law-abiding Muslim Americans who must bear the unveiled charge, made by some supporters of Sen. John McCain and Gov. Sarah Palin, that Obama's middle name makes him someone to distrust -- and, judging by some of the crowd reactions at these rallies, someone to persecute or even kill. As a secular Muslim, I too was offended. Obama's middle name differs from my last name by only two vowels. Does the McCain-Palin campaign view me as a pariah too? Do McCain and Palin think there's something wrong with my name?
But never mind any of that.

The real affront is the lack of firm response from either McCain or Palin. Neither has had the moral courage, when taking the stage, to grasp the microphone, turn to the presenter and, right then and there, denounce the use of Obama's middle name as an insult. Instead, they have simply delivered their stump speeches, lacing into Obama as if nothing out-of-bounds had just happened. The McCain-Palin ticket has given toxic speeches accusing Obama of being a friend of terrorists, then released short, meek repudiations of some of the rough stuff, including McCain's call Friday to "be respectful." Back in February, the Arizona senator apologized for the "disparaging remarks" from a talk-radio host who sneered repeatedly about "Barack Hussein Obama" before a McCain rally. "We will have a respectful debate," McCain insisted afterward. But pretending to douse flames that you are busy fanning does not qualify as straight talk.

What I find most unconscionable is the refusal of the McCain-Palin tandem to publicly condemn the cries of "traitor," "liar," "terrorist" and (worst of all) "kill him!" that could be heard at recent rallies. McCain is perfectly capable of telling hecklers off. But not once did he or his running mate bother to admonish the people yelling these obscene -- and potentially dangerous -- words. They may not have been able to hear the slurs at the rallies, but surely they have had ample time since to get on camera and warn that this sort of ugliness has no place in an election season. But they have not. Simply calling Obama "a decent person" is not enough.

Is inaction tantamount to consent? The McCain campaign certainly thinks so when it comes to Obama and incendiary remarks from the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. By their own inaction, then, are McCain and Palin condoning these slurs? Or worse, are they willfully inciting the angry and venomous response that we have been witnessing at their rallies? If not, then what reaction are they hoping to evoke by their relentless public suggestions that Obama is basically an anti-American liar who won't put "country first" and has an affection for terrorists? Do they not understand the kind of fire they are playing with?

I -- and, I suspect, millions of Americans like me, Republicans and Democrats alike -- couldn't care less about Obama's middle name or the ridiculous six-degrees-of-separation game that is the William Ayers non-issue. The Taliban are clawing their way back in Afghanistan, the country that I hope many of my fellow Americans have come to understand better through my novels. People are losing their homes and their jobs and are watching the future slip away from them. But instead of addressing these problems, the McCain-Palin ticket is doing its best to distract Americans by provoking fear, anxiety and hatred. Country first? Hardly.

Khaled Hosseini is the author of "The Kite Runner" and "A Thousand Splendid Suns."

Anger.

Maybe anger is not the right word. Disappointment maybe. I guess I just thought I would get a little more respect from my oldest friend. The lies. The let downs. It all starts to get very old. One person can only take so much. I think it hurts more when it comes from someone you thought you could trust. The key word being thought.

7 things.

This is all I have to say. Whoever thought a Miley Cyrus song would express my feelings.

And now we’re standing in the rain
But nothing’s ever gonna change until you hear,
My dear

The 7 things I hate about you
You’re vain, your games, you’re insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don’t know which side to buy
Your friends, they’re jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

It’s awkward and it’s silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
When you mean it, I’ll believe it
If you text it, I’ll delete it
Let’s be clear
Oh, I’m not coming back
You’re taking 7 steps here

The 7 things I hate about you
You’re vain, your games, you’re insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don’t know which side to buy
Your friends, they’re jerks
When you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

Belly Dance

I have started a Belly dance class and I must say it was a lot of fun. Enen though I thought I was going to be dead meat since my friend that I am taking it with failed to mention that i needed the first class to take this one. But actually I was doing better than mmost in the class who have already taken the beginner class... so I think I did ok. Plus my belly is where I need to work on, so hopefully this will help me out a little. And in case you were wondering that is a picture of me. Haha - maybe by the end of the class plus some extra workouts.

Adios

September 24th.

i don't think I can wait that long.

The pieces don't fit here anymore.

I've been taking a long hard look at my life recently. I'm going to be 24 in a month and a half and what exactly do I have to show for it? Plenty yes. I have a wonderful supportive family, no major health problems and all that. But what about the other stuff. As much as I love my job - I really do - could i really do that for the rest of my life? No way. I don't feel like I am respected. People look down on me. Not everyone, but a good portion. Which makes me angry. i mean, I am a teacher. Teacher's make minimal pay for a ridiculous amount of work. But that is beside the point, but that is the main reason why I couldn't continue with this job is the lack of respect. Excuse me if I haven't finished my 4 year degree yet, but that doesn't change the fact that I am teaching the future leaders of America basic skills that are needed for survival in this world and in their education. I even had one person comapre me to a babysitter. I almost punched them in the face because they were serious. Some people in this world really just have no idea what being a teacher is like. Anyways, that was not my intention to go off on that tangent but if you could learn one lesson from this paragraph, let it be this: Never call a teacher a babysitter and please show them that you appreciate them - It could be the smallest thing like cutting them a flower from your garden to give to them (which I had a student to the other day) and write a little note. Almost made me cry I'm not gonna lie. Teachers need that sometimes. A little "Hey you're awesome", pat on the back if you will. But don't we all need that sometimes?

Another conclusion that I have come to is this: Friends change and can become jealous at times. Degredation is the highest form of flattery. Putting you down to make themselves feel better. The whole "I'm going to prove that I'm smarter than you" trick. Just because you finished college before me doesn't make you smarter, however calling someone stupid when you can't back up your own statements does qualify you as an ass.

Friends change. Maybe I am the one who has changed - but either way I am slowly becoming indifferent. Tired of sitting around and waiting for things to happen or change. It doesn't matter anymore. I think I am over it. I have the perfect song to describe how I feel. Here it goes...

I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Well I can't explain why it's not enough, 'Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been too long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, the pieces don't fit here anymore.

You pulled me under,
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage that's done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

Oh don't missunderstand,
How I feel.
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried.
But still I don't know why, no I don't know why.

At least James Morrison knows what's up.

It's Only Life.

My Top 10 songs as of right now and I highly suggest you download every one of them...

1. "It's Only Life" by Kate Voegele
2. "In Love With a Girl" by Gavin DeGraw
3. "Leavin" by Jesse McCartney (trust me I never thought I would like this song but it's catchy and it stays in my head so it's on the list)
4. "Black and Gold" by Sam Sparro (very 80's, which lets face it I am a sucker for synthesizers)
5. 'Love in this Club" by Usher (you can't help but bounce)
6. "Disguise" by Jag Star
7. "Modern Nature" by Sondre Lerche (makes me feel good plus I loved Dan in Real Life)
8. "Feels Like Tonight" by Daughtry
9. "Save" or "Run to You" by the Rocket Summer ( I couldn't choose just one)
10. "...Slowdance on the Inside" by Taking Back Sunday (an old song but still a good one)

Bonus:
11. "Be Here Now" by Ray LaMontagne


do it.

"What Happens in Vegas...

...You pay for when you get home".
I just saw the movie "What Happens in Vegas" tonight and I loved it! It definitely exceeded my expectations. I laughed out loud many many times. Of course, everyone knows what is going to happen in the end though right? They end up falling for each other in the end. So my question is why do girls love these movies? Even though we know exactly how it's going to end and a lot of the basic plot in between. Is it just a ray of hope in our otherwise busy and work driven lives? Or is it just more crap to fill women's heads with false ideals? Nothing ends like a movie. i can't name one "Happy Ever After" that I've experienced. Can you? Maybe that's the answer to my own question. We like to watch it happen on screen so that maybe for a couple hours we can live vicariously through Cameron Diaz or whoever. It makes me think of the little girls in my class - We watched Aladdin the other day and the first thing the girls say is "I wanna be princess Jasmine Miss Valerie! I'm Princess Jasmine!" And they really believe it. I guess we never change.


On a sidenote, I want every piece of Cameron Diaz's wardrobe in the movie. Beautiful.
Go see the movie girls.

Black is the new President

Tick Tock Tick Tock.

Can i just say that this is my new favorite video. I heart Miley Cyrus. That's right I said it. I think she is totally adorable and her music makes me want to shake my "ask".
And I must add that this song is awesome. Timbaland makes things sound fantastic.
VA represent.



Just know that I am dancing as you watch this. No seriously.