The pieces don't fit here anymore.

I've been taking a long hard look at my life recently. I'm going to be 24 in a month and a half and what exactly do I have to show for it? Plenty yes. I have a wonderful supportive family, no major health problems and all that. But what about the other stuff. As much as I love my job - I really do - could i really do that for the rest of my life? No way. I don't feel like I am respected. People look down on me. Not everyone, but a good portion. Which makes me angry. i mean, I am a teacher. Teacher's make minimal pay for a ridiculous amount of work. But that is beside the point, but that is the main reason why I couldn't continue with this job is the lack of respect. Excuse me if I haven't finished my 4 year degree yet, but that doesn't change the fact that I am teaching the future leaders of America basic skills that are needed for survival in this world and in their education. I even had one person comapre me to a babysitter. I almost punched them in the face because they were serious. Some people in this world really just have no idea what being a teacher is like. Anyways, that was not my intention to go off on that tangent but if you could learn one lesson from this paragraph, let it be this: Never call a teacher a babysitter and please show them that you appreciate them - It could be the smallest thing like cutting them a flower from your garden to give to them (which I had a student to the other day) and write a little note. Almost made me cry I'm not gonna lie. Teachers need that sometimes. A little "Hey you're awesome", pat on the back if you will. But don't we all need that sometimes?

Another conclusion that I have come to is this: Friends change and can become jealous at times. Degredation is the highest form of flattery. Putting you down to make themselves feel better. The whole "I'm going to prove that I'm smarter than you" trick. Just because you finished college before me doesn't make you smarter, however calling someone stupid when you can't back up your own statements does qualify you as an ass.

Friends change. Maybe I am the one who has changed - but either way I am slowly becoming indifferent. Tired of sitting around and waiting for things to happen or change. It doesn't matter anymore. I think I am over it. I have the perfect song to describe how I feel. Here it goes...

I've been twisting and turning,
In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.

Well I can't explain why it's not enough, 'Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
It's the better thing to do,
It's time to surrender,
It's been too long pretending.
Theres no use in trying,
When the pieces don't fit anymore, the pieces don't fit here anymore.

You pulled me under,
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage that's done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

Oh don't missunderstand,
How I feel.
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried.
But still I don't know why, no I don't know why.

At least James Morrison knows what's up.