Secrets

I am so obsessed with this song right now. I think it might be my new theme song. OneRepublic is amazing and makes great music, love them.
I have an interview tomorrow and I think I'm a little nervous.... AAHH.

"I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
'Til all my sleeves are stained red

From all the truth that I've said
Come by it honestly I swear
Thought you saw wink, no
I've been on the brink, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

My God, amazing how we got this far
It's like we're chasing all those stars
Who's driving shiny big black cars
And everyday I see the news
All the problems that we could solve

And when a situation rises
Just write it into an album
Send it straight to gold
I don't really like my flow, no, so

Tell me what you want to hear
Something that were like those years
Sick of all the insincere
So I'm gonna give all my secrets away

This time, don't need another perfect lie
Don't care if critics never jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

Oh, got no reason, got no shame
Got no family I can blame
Just don't let me disappear
I'mma tell you everything"

Mine

Got a lot going on in my head these days. These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of good and bad. I don't know why people have to make things so hard. As much of a tough exterior that I show to the world, things bother me more than anyone will ever know. I talk the talk, the big talk, but let me tell ya'... notsomuch.

I went to dinner with a friend the other night to celebrate my graduation and lots of old feelings came back as we were swapping stories about life and love. Someone I used to know very well came up somehow, and although I don't have feelings for this person anymore (really I don't), but just talking about the new person in their life makes me angry. Why is that? I don't want this person so why does it matter? Well the only thing I can say is that you start to think... why her? What does she have that I didn't? Why pick her? Why does he get to have someone and I don't? Life isn't always fair kids... And honestly I should be jumping up and down right now because of all the good things in my life and all the blessings I have. But I still can't seem to shake some things. It's like that's the one piece missing and I just can't seem to make anything fit there. A piece that I thought could fit... well didn't.

I don't really know how to end this post... guess it's a to be continued...

"Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine"
-Taylor Swift "Mine"