Mine

Got a lot going on in my head these days. These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of good and bad. I don't know why people have to make things so hard. As much of a tough exterior that I show to the world, things bother me more than anyone will ever know. I talk the talk, the big talk, but let me tell ya'... notsomuch.

I went to dinner with a friend the other night to celebrate my graduation and lots of old feelings came back as we were swapping stories about life and love. Someone I used to know very well came up somehow, and although I don't have feelings for this person anymore (really I don't), but just talking about the new person in their life makes me angry. Why is that? I don't want this person so why does it matter? Well the only thing I can say is that you start to think... why her? What does she have that I didn't? Why pick her? Why does he get to have someone and I don't? Life isn't always fair kids... And honestly I should be jumping up and down right now because of all the good things in my life and all the blessings I have. But I still can't seem to shake some things. It's like that's the one piece missing and I just can't seem to make anything fit there. A piece that I thought could fit... well didn't.

I don't really know how to end this post... guess it's a to be continued...

"Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water?
You put your arm around me for the first time
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
You are the best thing that's ever been mine"
-Taylor Swift "Mine"