Autism

I was watching Oprah last night (when it repeats late at night since I can't catch it during the day) and I must say I am really glad that I did. It was a show about Autism in children and how to move towards recovery. It was a moving show for me not only because we got to see a whole new part of Jenny McCarthy but because there are ways you can treat and live with it. The three words for the show where FAITH HOPE and RECOVERY. Here is what OPRAH.com said about the show...

If your child stopped speaking, wouldn't look you in the eye and completely ignored the world around them, what would you do? In her new book, Louder Than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism, actress Jenny McCarthy shares her emotional story of diagnosis, hope, faith and recovery—a journey many thousands of parents now face.
In 2002, Jenny gave birth to a beautiful baby boy she named Evan. As an infant, Evan was full of life, making eye contact and smiling, but soon things started to change. "God was giving me many hints about my son, and I didn't quite see them," she says. "So I know that he had to wake me up with two really big ones."
Jenny says the first of those "big hints" came on a typical morning when Evan was 2 1/2 years old. When Evan, who usually got up at 7 a.m., wasn't stirring by 7:45 a.m. Jenny knew something was wrong. She ran to the nursery. "I open the door and run to his crib and I find him in his crib, convulsing, struggling to breathe, his eyeballs rolled to the back of his head," she says. "I picked him up and I started screaming at the top of my lungs … the paramedics came, and it took about 20 minutes for the seizure to stop."
When they arrived at the hospital, Jenny says doctors told her that her son had a febrile seizure, caused by a fever. "I said to the doctor, 'Well, you know, he doesn't really have a fever, so how does that play in this scenario?'" Jenny says. "[The doctor said], 'Well, he could have been getting one.' That was the response I got. … I went home with my baby going, 'You know what? Something's wrong and I don't know what it is, but I feel it."
About three weeks after the initial seizure, Evan had a second episode. Jenny says she had driven him three hours to see his grandparents when she noticed a "kind of stoned look on his face" as she handed him to his grandmother. "I walk into the bedroom to give Evan his bottle, and he's lying flat on the bed with his eyes rolled in the back of his head," Jenny says. "I called 911 because I knew it was happening again."
Her instinct was to put cold rags on him—a common treatment for febrile seizures. But Jenny says this one was different. "He wasn't convulsing, nor was he trying to get any breath—[there was] just foam coming out of his mouth," she says. "I put my hand on him, and I kept saying, 'Just stay with me,' because I felt like he was going. And after a few moments, I felt his heart stop."
When paramedics arrived they began CPR on Evan. "At that very moment that I watched my baby trying to get his heart started, I remember thinking, 'Why?'" Jenny says. "And then I heard this voice [inside me] that said, 'Everything is going to be okay.' I don't know how in the midst of hell that I was in that this voice [said], 'Everything's going to be okay,' and it's like … peace came over my body."
The paramedics revived Evan, but with no available helicopter, he had to be driven three hours back to Los Angeles for treatment. "In that time, he had another seizure. By the time we got to the Los Angeles hospital, he had seven more seizures within a seven-hour period," she says. Two days later, a doctor diagnosed Evan with epilepsy. "[The doctor said], 'There's got to be someone with seizures on your side of the family.' I said, 'No, actually I know every branch. I know what's going on. There's nothing. No one [with] epilepsy," she says. "And they discharged us."

Jenny says every instinct she had was telling her that her son was not epileptic—so she went for a second opinion.
After spending 20 minutes with Evan, a neurologist gave Jenny what she describes as a devastating diagnosis—Evan had autism. "And boy, my mommy instinct said, 'This man is right,'" she says.
Jenny says hearing the words made her feel "like death." "[The doctor] said, 'Hey, don't forget. This is the same little boy you came in this room with. He's not any different. He's the same boy,'" she says. "And, true, he was correct. He was the same boy. But I did happen to say, 'Well, I believe my son is trapped inside. I'm not settling for this.'"
In hindsight, Jenny realizes she missed signs of Evan's autism—such as his obsession with moving objects. Others had noticed something different about Evan, too. "My mother-in-law said, 'He doesn't really show affection,' and I threw her out of the house," Jenny says. "I went to a play gym, and the woman [there] said, 'Does your son have a brain problem?' … [I said], 'How dare you say something about my child? I love him. He's perfect. You can't say that about a child.' I just had no idea."
As with most autistic children, Jenny says she noticed that Evan's personality seemed to be locked inside him—and she was determined to get him out. She began scouring the Internet, where she read recovery stories and discovered treatment options.
One treatment Jenny decided to try was a change in eating habits. She immediately started eliminating gluten and casein, found in wheat and dairy products, from Evan's diet. "In two weeks to three weeks—and this isn't for everyone, to get a reaction like this—Evan doubled his language," she says. "[There was] eye contact, smiling, more affection."
To help Evan learn to play with toys as other children do, Jenny tried another approach—video modeling and play therapy. Because Evan didn't know how to play catch, Jenny showed him a video of her catching a ball. From that day on, Jenny says he was into the game. She used play therapy to help him learn in other ways. "A lot of kids on the [autism] spectrum, including Evan, would take [a toy] car and just line them up or turn them upside down and just [spin the wheels]," she says. "So play therapy literally is teaching him that the car can go on an adventure."
With the help of these treatments, Jenny says 5-year-old Evan is making great strides. "I consider him in recovery. There's still things we need to work on—seizures, stuff with abstract understanding, but for the most part he's a typical child in normal school," she says. While these therapies worked for Evan, Jenny emphasizes that it might not work for every child with autism. "I'm just a mom telling a story of other moms. We want to share it and say our kids do get better," she says. "[It's like] chemotherapy. It doesn't work for every cancer victim, but you know what? You're going to give it a try."
In recent years, the number of children diagnosed with autism has risen from 1 in every 500 children to 1 in 150—and science has not discovered a reason why. Jenny says she believes that childhood vaccinations may play a part. "What number will it take for people just to start listening to what the mothers of children who have seen autism have been saying for years, which is, 'We vaccinated our baby and something happened."
Jenny says even before Evan received his vaccines, she tried to talk to her pediatrician about it. "Right before his MMR shot, I said to the doctor, 'I have a very bad feeling about this shot. This is the autism shot, isn't it?' And he said, 'No, that is ridiculous. It is a mother's desperate attempt to blame something,' and he swore at me, and then the nurse gave [Evan] the shot," she says. "And I remember going, 'Oh, God, I hope he's right.' And soon thereafter—boom—the soul's gone from his eyes."
Despite her belief, Jenny says she is not against vaccines. "I am all for them, but there needs to be a safer vaccine schedule. There needs to be something done. The fact that the [Centers for Disease Control and Prevention] acts as if these vaccines are one size fits all is just crazy to me," she says. "People need to start listening to what the moms have been saying."

Oprah.com
There was more... but I thought that was the important part.
To learn more about what Autism is you can
click here

SUCCESS

To laugh often and much,
To win the respect of intelligent people
And the affection of children.
To earn the appreciation of honest
critics
To endure the betrayal of false
friends,
To appreciate beauty, to find the
best in others,
To leave the world a bit better,
Whether by a healthy child, a
garden patch, or a
redeemed social
condition.
To know even one life
has breathed easier
because you lived,
This is to have
succeeded.


Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Soup

Día de Enero (January Day)

Te conocí un día de enero,
con la luna en mi nariz
Y como ví que eras sincero
En tus ojos me perdí

Que torpe distracción
Y que dulce sensación

Y ahora que andamos por el mundo
Como Eneas y Benitin
Ya te encontré varios rasguños
Que te hicieron por ahí

Pero mi loco amor
Es tu mejor doctor

Voy a curarte el alma en duelo
Voy a dejarte como nuevo
Y todo va a pasar
Pronto verás el sol brillar

Tú más que nadie mereces ser feliz

Ya vas a ver como van sanando
Poco a poco tus heridas
Ya vas a ver como va
La misma vida decantar la sal que sobra en mar

Y aunque hayas sido un extranjero
hasta en tu propio país
Si yo te digo ¿cómo dices tú?
Aún dices ¿qué decís?
Y lloras de emoción oyendo un bandoneón

Y aunque parezcas despistado con ese caminar pausado
Conozco la razón que hace doler tu corazón
Por eso quise hacerte esta canción

Ya vas a ver como van sanando
Poco a poco tus heridas
Ya vas a ver como va
La misma vida decantar la sal que sobra en mar

(I met you one January day, With the moon on my nose. And seeing you were sincere, in your eyes, i lost myself. What a clusmy distraction and what a sweet sensation. And now that we're walking around the world like Eneas and Benitin. I've already noticed the many cuts that they inflicted on you along the way. But my crazy love is your best doctor. I'm going to cure your mourning soul. I'm going to leave you like new and everything's going to pass. Soon, you will see the sun shine. You, more than anyone, deserve to be happy. Soon you will see your wounds healing little by little. Soon you will see how life itself will decant the excess salt from the sea. And although you've been a foreigner even in your own country. If i ask 'how do you say' (Colombian Accent) You still say 'what did you say' (Argentinean Accent). And you cry with emotion listening to a bandoneón. And though you seem absent minded with that lazy walk, i know what causes your heart to ache. That's why i wanted to make you this song. You're going to see how little by little your wounds are going to heal. You're going to see how life itself will decant the excess salt from the sea.)

SCREAMING

Do I need to scream and yell and cry to be heard?
Maybe so.
Or maybe silence is the answer.



good song.

OMG

Heidi Montag 'Upset' Over Leaked Song

THURSDAY AUGUST 16, 2007
By Aaron Parsley

Heidi Montag talks about making music almost as much as she talks about the feud with her Hills costar Lauren Conrad. But unlike her very public fights, Montag did not want a song she recorded to be played on the air.

Touted as the "world premiere" of Montag's single, Ryan Seacrest played a song called "Body Language" on his KISS-FM radio show on Thursday. But the track, which takes a beat from Yaz's "Situation" and features Montag's fiancé and manager Spencer Pratt as a rapper, wasn't supposed to be released, according to Pratt. (Listen to the song here.)


"We did it as a joke," Pratt tells PEOPLE. "It's not her single at all. It was never meant to be heard by anyone but us. Over my dead body would I rap on Heidi's first single. Heidi is so upset because this was not the first sound she wanted people to hear from her."

What is Montag's sound? "It's very dance, urban, rhythmical," she told Seacrest during a recent radio appearance. "But I really love a lot of rap and urban music at the same time so I'm kind of bringing a little bit of those elements in."

When it comes to the couple's engagement, Montag's music career takes precedent. "I am shopping [for a dress]," she told PEOPLE at the season three premiere of The Hills. "But we haven't done anything [else], we're just so busy in the studio and with my music we don't really have time to plan a wedding."


-----------


It doesn't sound like her... I don't know why people would give her credit for this. Her producer is great, but that's about it. And Spencer rapping? C'mon now.

Jacks and Uno Cards

The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity

It could be a crackhead. That got hold to the wrong stuff

Just watch. You won't be disappointed.

A Green Truth

For the past 20 years, former Vice President Al Gore has been traveling the world speaking about global warming, a passion of his since college. In 2006, his lecture was made into the documentary An Inconvenient Truth, which won an Academy Award® for Best Documentary. Now available on DVD, this is the third highest grossing documentary of all time. In his lectures, book and documentary, Gore explains that if we continue to ignore what we are doing to our planet, we risk destroying the very future of our civilization. And the former vice president says that we must act before it's too late. "Some of the leading scientists are now saying we may have as little as 10 years before we cross a kind of point-of-no-return, beyond which it's much more difficult to save the habitability of the planet in the future," Gore says. "I believe that everybody should see [An Inconvenient Truth]," Oprah says.

What causes global warming?

It's been a hot topic lately, but what exactly is global warming? First, it's important to understand that the atmosphere is extremely thin. "The late Carl Sagan used to say if you had a globe with a coat of varnish, the thinness of that varnish relative to the globe is similar to the thinness of the atmosphere to the planet," Gore says. That atmosphere, which is just a few miles above the Earth's surface, traps some amount of the sun's energy, or light radiation, as it hits the Earth. "That's a good thing, the natural trapping of [the sun's radiation], because it keeps the temperatures within comfortable boundaries," Gore says. While other planets are either much too hot or much too cold, Earth is just like Goldilocks—just right for life. As humans add pollution like carbon dioxide (also known as CO2) into the air, the Earth's atmosphere becomes thicker. The thicker atmosphere traps more of the reflected radiation, raising overall temperature. This process is what we call "global warming." Other major factors adding to global warming, Gore says, include the burning of coal, oil, gasoline and forests.

The North Pole

As carbon dioxide levels explode all over the world, the effects are most obvious at the North and South Poles. For the past 50 years, the U.S. Navy has used submarines to patrol underneath the ice at the North Pole. These submarines can only surface where the ice shelf is less than three feet thick, so the Navy must routinely measure the thickness of the Arctic. Gore says their records show that "starting in the early '70s, [the ice shelf] started declining rapidly, both in the extent and the thickness. The North Pole is melting." One consequence of this, as shown in An Inconvenient Truth, is a decline in polar bear populations as they drown. "They live on the ice and now the ice is sometimes 60 miles from the land. And the distance between the ice floes is very large, and so for the first time now in significant numbers they're finding them dying by drowning. … Something similar is happening to the penguins near the South Pole." Additionally, the melting North Pole could lead to even more global warming. "It's also really dangerous for us to have this big expanse of open water at the top of our world," Gore says. "Normally that's like a giant mirror. It's one of the ways the planet cools itself. But as it melts, the open ocean absorbs all that heat."
One place that already feels the effects of the melting North Pole is Shishmaref, a small Alaskan village just south of the Arctic Circle. The Inupiak people have lived here for generations, but in the past 30 years, they've witnessed dramatic changes.

As illustrated in the documentary Everything's Cool, warming temperatures are causing the icy barriers that once protected Shishmaref to form later in the season. This leaves the village vulnerable to fierce waves that pummel and eat away at the coastline. As a result, entire foundations of houses have been destroyed as the ground has receded into the sea. Already 18 houses have been relocated to higher ground and rising water could eventually engulf the entire island. The estimated cost to relocate the village is $100 million.
Shismaref isn't alone. Gore says there are 180 towns in Alaska that face similar threats from rising sea levels.
If Greenland and Antarctica continue to melt, Gore says the maps of the world will need to be redrawn. Low-lying areas near southern Florida, Manhattan and the area surrounding the San Francisco Bay could end up under water, Gore warns. In the low countries of Western Europe—the Netherlands, Belgium and Luxembourg—millions of people would need to relocate. In Beijing, 20 million people live in areas that would be flooded, and in Shanghai, the devastation would be even worse. Forty million Chinese citizens would become climate refugees.

The heat is on

The 10 hottest years ever recorded in the Earth's atmospheric record have all occurred in the past 14 years, Gore says. In the summer of 2003, Europe suffered through a scorching heat wave that was responsible for the deaths of 35,000 people. That same year, temperatures shot up to 122 degrees in India…and that wasn't even the hottest summer on record. According to scientists, 2005 was the hottest year in history. During the summer of 2006, Gore says many American cities out West set records of their own—some for all-time high temperatures and others for the number of consecutive days that reached 100 degrees or more. "It's not supposed to be 120 degrees in South Dakota," Gore says. Temperature increases are taking place all over the world, including in the oceans. Gore warns that when the oceans get warmer, storms get stronger.

Easy things everyone can do


You are not helpless in the fight against global warming. Gore goes inside a Lowe's Home Improvement store outside Nashville, Tennessee, to show you the five things you can buy that will help solve the climate crisis…and save you a few bucks!

-Compact fluorescent light bulbs: These energy-efficient bulbs cost less than $4 and are produced by major corporations like GE. If every household in America switched five regular light bulbs for five fluorescent bulbs, it would be the equivalent of taking 1 million cars off the highways for a full year.

-Outdoor solar lighting: These yard or patio lights cost less than $20, and they don't burn any electricity or produce any CO2.

-Programmable thermostats: Though these thermostats cost from $50 to $100, they can actually cut your heating and cooling costs. Set the setting so it's a little bit cooler in the winter and warmer in the summer when you're not in the house. A difference of 2 degrees can reduce a home's CO2 emissions by up to 9 percent over the course of a year.

-Air filters: Changing the air filters in your heating and cooling systems regularly can knock 2 percent off of your CO2 output each year.

-Electric hot water heater blanket: Hot water heaters use a lot of energy and generate a lot of CO2. A blanket costs less than $18 and can cut your home's CO2 emissions by almost 4 1/2 percent.

Gore says that when you're shopping for major home appliances, look for the Energy Star label. "This is a signal that you're getting an environmentally efficient appliance that's going to save you money at the same time," he says.



oprah.com

The best decision I've ever forced

I can't wait until Monday! It's gonna be a good one!



First day of work was a little better than expected. Seems as though things have changed.... looks that way for now anyway.

All for now - I need a little nap.

3rd wheel

one of my faves...


When I'm done with thinking, then I'm done with you.
When I'm done with crying, then I'm done with you.
When I feel so tired, then I'm done with you.
Everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way
And I do.
You can't hear it, but I do.
You can't hear it, but I do.
You're trying to convince me that what I've done's not right.
I get so frustrated, I stay up every night.
You ask me for an answer, and I'm so tired that I'm up in the air.
Everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way
And I do.
You can't hear it, but I do.
You can't hear it, but I'm feeling this way just because you say
I will be ignored and
I will be denied and
I could be erased and
I could be brushed aside and
I will get scared and I will get shoved down,
But I feel like I do because you push me around.
I'm starting to ignore you, I've doubted you so long.
I'm tired of overthinking, I know you don't belong.
Now I'm asking questions - no one pushes me around.
Everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way -
And I do.
You can't hear it, but I do.
You don't seem angry, but I do.
I do

Ok Let's Go to Bed

Here is a clip from one of my favorite shows - as you all know - and one of my favorite episodes entitled "The Post-it Always Sticks Twice" (sound familiar?) It always makes my day when my favorite episode plays on TV. It's the simple things. So watch and enjoy.

Dream

The dream is this - that we'll finally be happy when we reach our goals - find the guy, finish our internship, that's the dream. Then we get there. And if we're human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. Because, if this is the dream, then we'd like to wake up.
And then maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all.

Because the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway...

A little boys explanation of God

I certainly don't think an adult could explain this more beautifully!

It was written by an 8-year-old named Danny Dutton, who lives in Chula Vista, CA. He wrote it for his third grade homework assignment, to "explain God." I wonder if any of us could have done as well ?
... and he had such an assignment, in California, and someone published it, I guess miracles do happen ! ..

EXPLANATION OF GOD:
"One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grownups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way he doesn't have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers."

"God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off."

"God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have."

"Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren't any who come to our church."

"Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K."

"His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important."

"You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time."

"You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God!

"Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway."

"If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids."

"But...you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases.

Aaaargh

Is it wrong that I love Johnny Depp even more as a dirty pirate?

Nah.

You may not be able to catch a bat with a pot, but one thing is for sure - I love bags

Look at it... I love it. I have been visiting it online for awhile now and I even have a 20% off discount. Exciting I know. The bad thing is that they are backordered. (sigh) And even if I ordered it now, I wouldn't get it until middle to late September. (I just killed the most massive bug as I am sitting here by the way. Don't ask me what kind it was because I really don't know. Kinda like a spider and a grasshopper and something else mixed. Very nasty, Very big. And now just to add to that, I feel like things are crawling on me all the time now. I hate that. Plus, everytime I kill a spider or anything - which is pretty regular around here - I get a flashback to that time which we will not speak of. You know the time at the daycare. Ew. I get chills thinking about it. But anyway, I am getting off track.)
Back to my bag. I love it. Period. Love the color. Love the shape. Love.
Also, I added some new links to check out ------->
Domino is one of my favorite magazines of all time. It has great decorating ideas and is totally my style. And we all know that I love to decorate. If I could do school over - I would do that. Without a question. Interior design. I actually thought about transferring to the Art Institute of Washington in Arlington - yep contacted an admissions counselor and everything. Until I learned how expensive art school is. Then I had to begrudgingly bow out. For now anyway. But if i could do it over - that's what I would've done. Well that is all for tonight. Goodnight party people.


Oh and bats are attracted to light?

Well Chris Farley thinks so anyway. I think I'll watch Black Sheep for a little comic therapy since retail therapy is out of the question. Nighty Night.

Superman

Moths flicker under the golden glow of the street
lamps.
Why does it take so much longer to get back home?
There's no reason for me to glance back with innocent
smiles.
No sarcastic remarks about me hanging my head out
the car window -
Hair glossed to my lips.
Listening to the songs that you should be singing
with me.
Sole lyrics. Bouncing through my head.
Vaguely conscious of the buzzing traffic that
surrounds me.
Party night -
Nearly seduced,
Skipping the cracks and counting the little yellow
lines in the street.
24-25-26
If the world falls from beneath me, will you be here to
save me?
If only I could understand those long silent pauses
when you aren't singing
along.
I think the world may be falling now...
27-28-29

Tumultuous Tuesday

"Time heals nothing. It's what you do with the time that matters."

Great Quote.
Oh and check out my new music player... that is all for now. Maybe more later.

Comic Relief

I love Graham Norton.

New Apartment, New Life

Well I'm almost all settled in here - in my new place. Pretty much all unpacked minus a few minor details. It feels very good to finally have a roommate whom I enjoy spending time with. There is only one tiny little flaw. SPIDERS. We have spider bites all over us and I think we kill a little over a dozen each day. Gross I know. The pest control guy already came so hopefully soon they will start to die. I'm praying that this is the whole "it gets worse before it gets better" kind of deal. I guess we shall see in time.
On the other hand. I need to be thinking about where I want to work because frankly we already received a cable bill. We haven't even had cable for a week and they're already sending a bill. Leave it to Cox. I not only need a job for the money but also for a llittle entertainment. I'm getting tired of being in the apartment all the time already. Plus, it gets a little lonely since my roommate works full time and I have nothing to do. Sad yes. Pathetic yes. So the job hunting journey will commence Monday.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away."

You're not Getting 'til your Gettin'

Tired Eyes

I am a little tired so this post will not be a long one. Today was a busy busy day - filled with chatting with friends who are far away and whom I miss, painting (which is always a favorite activity), a baseball game and peach tea. But it is also filled with nervous thoughts. I know in my heart everything will be ok - there's still that lingering thought in my head - The dreaded "what if".
Anyway - everything is going to be fine, I am just a worrier. That's what we do in my family. We stew and we worry.

Goodnight.

Quote of the Day:

luck never gives: it only lends.

-Ancient Chinese Proverb

A change is gonna come

Today was a very fun and relaxing day I must say. I got to spend time with all my favorite little ones and got to swim in the pool and soak up some sun. It's funny how fast they are growing up. The little ones I mean. Even though some of them are not so little anymore and are growing up right in front of my eyes. It makes me feel oh so old. For example, I can remember when the oldest was born. That was almost 8 years ago! Oh how the time has just flown by.
I have also had some sad thoughts today. I am leaving in about 25 days. And yes I am just going to back to school and that's no different, but I am really moving away. Moving into an apartment and embarkin gon my life. I mean it's not like I'm moving far away or anything or that I'm never coming back. It's just different now. This is the last summer I'll be home. No more christmas breaks even at home. It almost brings a tear to my eye. I will miss seeing the little ones grow up day to day, or even month to month. Times are a-changing... yes ma'am. Can you feel it in the wind?
Well this is all I have for now....

Stranger

It's been awhile since I had a real post up so I thought since I have the time now, I should do it while I have the chance.

I have been home for awhile now and when I first got home it was all about the job search. So that took up a lot of my time. However, it seems that the job search was a little bit of a futile quest seeing as though most of the temp agencies didn't seem to have anything for me. They only had temp-hire positions (which obviously wouldn't work because I am moving back up to Fairfax in the middle of July) or they told me I didn't have enough experience. But just when I thought all hope had been lost... Protemps immediately found a job for me. The woman told me it was a temp-hire position but just not to mention that to the client. So I didn't and I assumed that I would be working there for awhile, possibly until I left to go back. But that excitement was short-lived because apparently I was either fired or somehow the client found out that I wasn't going to be there much longer. My theory is that they tried to offer me a full-time position (which they would've had to call the angency first) and then the agency was probably obligated to tell them when I was leaving. Well that is the story that I'm clinging to because, well let's face it, it's a lot easier on the ego to believe that then to just think I was fired. But I must say I was really thrown off by the whole thing - I left the office on Friday and everyone there was saying see you on Monday - and then BAM, don't bother showing up on monday they say. Anyways, now that I have gotten over that and I can rest easier at night, I am still jobless. Sad I know. So I think I'm going to start utting effort into finding a job at school because it's pretty much to late to be worrying about working at home. I only have 26 days left here. There really is no point.

Other than that, life at home proves to be pretty boring. SHOCKING I know. But I keep telling myself that it will be over soon and then the dreams of my fabulous apartment will finally be a reality.

I also wanted to take this chance to post some new paintings that I have finished... Both for my sisters for their birthdays. I like the way they turned out and I think I did ok with matching the concept to the sister. Well I at least tried to create something that would coordinate with their existing home decor. SO without further adieu...

You can also see these on my photo website which is a work in progress at the moment. I'm trying to put a lot of my photos up there so then it is easier to share with the fam and what not. The url for that site is just http://selena170.myphotoalbum.com

In other brief news... I really like Hilary Duff's new cd and especially this song... And if you want to hear the video than just pause the music on the side first.

That is all for now
Check ya later.

Laughing...

This video really makes me laugh... I don't know why, it just does. And I think Graham Norton is hilarious but that's just me.

Sex on the beach... then you woke up!

Thank you for being a friend...

goodnight.

I don't know what a Hollaback girl is... all I know is I want her dead

Ok I have a few videos that I want to share with you...
First, here is a family guy video and I must say it really makes me laugh. I love this show because it is so my sense of humor. Completely random and smart. When I was first introduced to this show I thought it was stupid. (And the certain someone who introduced it to me likes to point out a lot that I didn't like it at first) I vaguely remember saying something like "It's a cartoon, aren't we a little old to be watching cartoons?" No - it's a cartoon for adults and it's hilarious. So watch and laugh. Would you like an apple pie with that?



Now let's take it in another direction. I love this video and all the Anaheim ballet videos. Very awesome. It makes me wish I could go back in time and study dance. I always wanted to dance but my parents always said they didn't have the money for me to take class so I guess I just forgot about it. But then in college I took a beginning ballet class with a couple friends to get our fine arts credit. And yes it was entertaining for reasons we won't get into now, it was also eye opening. I really enjoyed the class actually. And the teacher also told me, between the "you could use a few extra crunches" remarks, she told me I had good natural feet. So the lightbulb went off in my head at that moment - I probably would've been a pretty succesful dancer. I definitely wouldn't be in the shape that I am in now, that's for sure. But coulda woulda shoulda. Maybe one day I will take some classes, but in the meantime I can enjoy these videos of the Anaheim Ballet and live vicariously. So here's a little taste...



Anyways, I have future plans for many more paintings and I can't wait to start on them. My summer is going to be filled with art. I might even try to sell some of my paintings. As I finish them I will post pictures for all to see. My latest - which I call "Caldera" is in the previous post that I did earlier in case you missed it.
Ok that is all for now.


keepyourpointeontheglobe.

Another Down

Here is the next finished project. The picture isnt very good, my camera's battery is dying and I couldn't find anymore batteries so this is the best I could do. But I must run and clean my mess and watch "Criminal Minds". (Love that show)
Maybe more later...

Row Row Row your Boat...

Ok here it is - the finished product. I must say I'm pretty happy with it. Although I could spend probably another year making changes to it and I will never be happy. I know this about myself, so I have to tell myself to put down the paintbrush before I really mess it up.
I am giving this painting to my roommate for her birthday tomorrow. She loves boats and pictures of boats, hence what I decided to paint for her. But I like it because it is cropped and it's not typical.
Anyways, work is becoming more and more exhausting. I really don't know how to help this child and I have almost accepted the fact that it's not going to happen on my watch. But I have to hope that one day it will get better - at least for the parents' sake. He's a tough kid and has some deep rooted issues. What it is, I'm not sure really, but I know that it's a lot bigger than not wanting to do his homework or being irresponsible. There is a rage there. And hopefully one day he will be able to conquer that. He is truly a smart and good kid. I can see that. Anyone can see that. I just pray that one day his attitude will improve.

I'm really looking forward to coming home this weekend! It will be a nice break right before exams start. But I'm happy to say that I'm really not that worried about my exams.

Ok who noticed my awesome music player over there ------------------>
Pretty sweet eh? Now you can listen to the music that I love!
Oh snap.

Truth of my Youth

There was a time and place
Where I never thought
I'd leave my own hometown
But those days finally
Are dead and gone,
It was never my intention to stay there,
Oh no.

There was a conscious effort played by me
To disown anything I see.
There was a girl I knew
Way back when,
Who says she doesn't know me anymore.
These are the lies the things you never mention.
These are my past, mistakes I'll stay away from.

These are my thoughts written down on paper,
It's my only savior
From not saying what I want to say.
These are the thoughts that are on my mind,
Moments that haven't yet been defined,
And I don't know if you could ever understand,
These are the things I can't say when we're alone.

There were countless hours on the telephone
My ears were ringing from the dial tone,
There were flashing lights,
People staring,
There was nothing I could ever do.
These are the lies the things you never mention,
These are my past mistakes I'll stay away from.

This is the truth,
The only time you'll hear it.
I'll write it down because it seems so hard to say it,

These are my thoughts written down on paper,
It's my only savior,
From not saying what I want to say,
These are the thoughts that are on my mind,
Moments that haven't yet been defined,
And I don't know if you could ever understand,
These are the things I can't say when we're alone.

Different Strokes for Different Folks

So I am painting again. It seems to keep me at a relatively normal level of sanity. However, I am oh so hard on my own work. I am a perfectionist what can I say. When I paint it, to me it looks like crap. Others like it, but i can't really see it. Once in High school I made a painting for an english project and one of the kids in my class bought it from me because he liked it so much. I think he was on some kind of drugs though. No really. Big druggie. But he still bought it nonetheless and I made money. It's kind of like when my mom says not to start decorating those cookies or sketch before you paint - because she knows that I will get frustrated because it won't look exactly the way I want. And right now as I sit here and look at the painting I started - I hate it right now. It's too dark and the colors aren't blending like I picture them in my head. And I am giving this painting as a gift so hopefully it will live up to my expectations in the end. But I don't know. Right now it's ugly. We shall see. But even when I think it's ugly - the activity of painting still makes me happy. So that makes it ok.
On another happy note - classes are basically over, but we all know what that means. I'm not really worried about my finals so it's not that. Classes over = MOVING. And I HATE moving. HATE HATE HATE. I hate packing and I hate moving. I can't think of anything else right now that I hate more. Well maybe my painting. KIDDING. I hate moving way more.
But right now I am exhausted so it's off to bed.


TTFN

Knocked up

I saw this movie in a screening last week and it is now officially my favorite movie. It's called "Knocked Up" and it stars Katherine Heigl, we all know her as Izzie Stevens from Grey's. But the movie is about a one night stand that leads to a pregnancy, and honestly it is just hilarious. I think my favorite line is "Married life is like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond... but it's not funny.. And it doesn't last 22 minutes..... It lasts forever." And I must say that the screaming during childbirth vaguely reminds me of someone I know. Hmmm. = ) Anyways, Enjoy the trailer, it will make you laugh. And we all need a few laughs these days.




Carry on.

Gnomes!

Is it sad that I can still sing this theme song even though I haven't watched the show in almost 20 years. Boy does that make me feel/sound old. Anyways David the gnome was one of my many favorites. Enjoy.

Friday

Friday, April 20, 2007

Orange and Maroon Effect Day
Support families of Virginia Tech students by wearing orange and maroon.
(Nation wide participation)

Great.

Hee-larious.

Interesting website. Sad.

http://newsbloggers.aol.com/2007/04/17/cho-seung-huis-plays/

So much to say

Just like most of you out there, I'm sure you are glued to your televisions about this incident at Virginia Tech. And I must say that it is hard for me to watch the coverage. For many reasons:

1. It makes me upset to hear all the finger pointing - like the university should've done this and should've done that. But of course it's easy to look back and say this is what should've been done. Hindsight is always so much clearer. The school and its officials did everything they were supposed to do. There was no way they could've known what was going to unfold. And if they had any idea, any kind of inkling - they would've reacted differently. I know it. And trust me, they don't need the finger pointed at them, they feel responsible enough and its probably something they will think about for the rest of their lives. They don't need to be punished by the public because I am sure they are already punishing themselves. Furthermore, you can't stop a crazy person. He was determined, I mean he chained the doors shut. He chained the doors. So no one could get out and no one could get in. The police had to blow up the door to get in. He was crazy. Sick. There's only so much you can do with a person like that. And also, people in college these days know how easy it is to get into a building even if you are not a student. Yes you have to swipe your card to get into the building, but I can stand by the door and get in right behind someone. And just like at VT, he (the gunman) could easily hide himself in the crowd. Just like VT, GMU is huge.

2. It can happen anywhere. It could've been here. If that same scenario played out here, on the same day, I was in class at that time. If it was here, it could've been me. I can't help but think that. And I really admire the students' strength, because if it was here I don't know if I could be that strong. I mean this is going to affect them for the rest of their lives. But not just that. It affects everyone. It affects me, probably more than I realize now. Everytime the door opens in your classroom, you just wonder. Who is about to walk in? You never know. You almost tense up a little. Call me overdramatic I don't care. But I'm sure there are others who feel as I do. If it was here it could've been me.

3. The South Korean gunman, Cho Seung- hui, is from here. About 8 miles from here. Centreville. He was a resident alien, which means he was allowed to be here whether it was temporary or permanent, he had a green card, but he was not a citizen of this country. So someone tell me why he was able to purchase a gun from a gun store. Because that's where he got one of the guns the friday before. Honestly? I don't want to hear the NRA and their stupid excuse of an arguement of "Guns don't kill people, people kill people". That angers me because you know what, this could've been avoided if he was unable to purchase a weapon. He would not have been able to shoot 32 people without a gun. So my 2 points here are that a.) there need to be some kind of gun control laws in this country. Why is it in America we have such an issue with that? I'll tell you why. Because it's a huge front. Almost unbeatable. Republicans need to wake up. No one cares if you hunt, but why does anyone need a semi-automatic weapon? Why does anyone need the capability to shoot off 32 shots in a matter of minutes and be able to reload in 3 seconds. Someone tell me why a regular citizen needs that kind of power. It's ridiculous and how many more shootings and massacres is it going to take in this country to have a change made? And why is it that America is the only country with this issue? Gun control laws. Other countries have much stricter and better laws and look, you don't hear about 32 students being shot at school in other countries. The gun was too easy to get, and if you want someone to blame, then blame the government for looking the other way. Which leads me to point B. This kid was not a citizen of this country. And I guess I will preface this arguement by saying I am all for immigration. I have no problems with people coming to this country to have a better life. I'm glad they are here. But it infuriates me that someone who is not a citizen has so many benefits in this country. They can get a driver's license, they can get jobs and they can even get in-state tuition at our universities. It's hard for me to understand how people justify that. Oh here's their arguement.. They work for cheap and bring money into this country. Seriously? Whatever happened to integrity and nationality? It flies out the window when money and greed come into the picture. Something needs to be done, what it is I don't know, but something. Maybe if it was their child or friend who died in such a massacre they would think twice.

For now that is all the ranting I can handle. Too many thoughts. Too much to digest.

True.

There are no words. Just watch.

Dear Love....

One of my favorite songs by one of my favorite artists. A song written to the emotion of Love.

Love, so many people use your name in vain.
Love, but those who have faith in you sometimes go astray.
Love, through all the ups and downs and joys and hurts.
Love, for better or worse I still will choose you first.


goodnight.

Kalimera

This is probably the best video I have ever seen for 2 reasons:

1. It makes me laugh. (Uh maybe I am on diet)
2. Frappes are good.


If you dont have a mixer though I have learned you can use a bottle, maybe a water bottle of some kind and mix the water, nescafe, and sugar in the bottle and shake it. Works I swear. Very Foamy. Enjoy. It makes me want one right now. Thelo ena kafe =)



ok goodnight. Yassas

The Selfish Giant

People are selfish. That's pretty much a known fact. Most of the world's population is completey and utterly selfish. They don't care how their actions affect the ones around them. Sometimes not even the people who you think are your friends. You want to think that if they knew the situation you were in, then they would act differently. Well if you thought that, then you would be wrong. Because like I said, people are selfish. They are in it for no one else but themselves. Sometimes you don't even know the people that your action affects, amd sometimes you know them well and do it anyway. Those are the kind, the kind that blatantly disregard others' feelings, those are the ones to cut out of your life. Those are the ones who only listen to you when it's convenient for them. Or those are the ones who would rather sit on their ass all summer instead of getting a job and keeping a promise. There are too many good people out there to let people like that waste your time. My parents used to call them "Fair weather friends". And you would think that I would be used to them, and able to spot them from a mile away after growing up in the town I did. But that never happens. Because those people will sneak up on you and disappoint or hurt you everytime. EVERYTIME. So there it is. Take it or leave it. Do with it what you may. But heed my warning. Put it in your pocket and learn from my mistakes.

Chuckles

Oh this commercial makes me laugh...




night night.

Oh I forgot...

On a good note... I have a new favorite show. It's called the Black Donnellys on NBC. Love it. Here is a little taste.




You probably would've never guessed that I liked this show. But I really do. Enjoy.

Simplicity

Why can't anything be simple? If a professor would ask me this question in class I would surely have a quick response for them and I would boldly raise my hand in the air and say "Nothing is ever simple because some people are irresponsible and only think about themselves". And then Im sure the teacher would look at me like I have some issues, but oh well who doesn't? But my statement would still be true nonetheless. Life would be a lot simpler if maybe other people thought about how their actions (or inaction) affect the people around them. I could be way off the mark here, but I don't think so. I mean think about it. For example, A girl gets a boyfriend and all of a sudden her priorities change and the relationships she used to have with her friends suffer because she is unaware of how her actions (or inactions) are affecting those closest to her. Therefore, the relationship becomes Comlicated, and no longer a simple friendship, because she chose to be absent. I mean I guess you could apply the idea to a different metaphor. Like if you're driving your car and you forget or maybe don't see the red light and you don't stop. SCREECH.BANG. You've crashed into the car in the intersection and then you are no longer simply driving, but because of your irresponsibility, God knows you've complicated the situation in so many ways. And then everyone else is left with the stress caused by your mistake. And yes I hear you out there... people make mistakes. But when you consciously make them, that is where the problem lies my friend. That is where the problem lurks. Irresponsibility is dangerous. it could break someone's bones, break someone's spirit, or leave them to live in an apartment alone.

Theme

Lord lift me over the hurt and pain
Deliver me from the rain
See I don't wanna stress over stress no more
I don't wanna struggle no more

Rather be here...

Arts and Crafts

I should do more arts and crafts. Crafts make me happy. Or are they just a happy distraction? I don't think I really care. I guess you could say that art and creativity have always made me feel better. When I was little that was probably the one thing that could make me almost forget what was going on around me. I took art classes for awhile, and my teachers always told me that I showed great promise. But then I stopped. I don't even remember why. Maybe I felt like I grew out of it, or maybe I just got too busy doing other things. I don't really remember. Anyways, I don't really know what my point was. I guess it's just that I miss it now. And i want to try to incorporate that in my life again. How you ask? I don't know. Like the other day when my roommates and I made valentines, and painted them and what not - it was great. Just little things like that. Maybe it will save my sanity. I doubt it though, but one can only hope =)

Smile

Oh does this bring back memories... I love this movie and it sure brightened up my day

I don't know...

I guess I don't really know where to begin because I don't know exactly how I feel right now. I've had people tell me that I am in the middle of a very destructive relationship and honestly sometimes I really agree. But my question is how do just walk away from something that has been a habit for so long? Something that was always there when you could count on it. I miss that support system. Now i just feel like I'm not good enough. Like I was just a stepping stone until something better came along.
But i feel like it's more than that. All of a sudden they've met someone new and now they are a different person. A person who deliberately hides things from me. Why? Because they are ashamed and know that this is not really their personality, or maybe because they know I will see right through it? I don't know.
ANd then I think maybe I'm being put on the back burner or sacrificed beacause in the end, I will be the one still standing there. But that still doesn't change the fact that I am sad or that I am very lonely. I don't think anyone sees that when they look at me, because I try so hard to hide it. So hard. And the one person I thought I could talk to, I can't. I just can't. Or the one person who I thought it would matter to. It doesn't. At least not now. It's like that saying, how does it go? If you let something go and then it comes back, then it was meant to be? I don't know if I'm strong enough for that. But i don't know if I'm strong enough for this either.
So again I sit here alone and it goes unnoticed. Maybe I should just get used to it.

What?

Ok so is it weird that there is something that I wrote in 6th grade posted on the internet? Without my knowledge mind you. Way weird... right? Yes I think so. You know when you are bored and you google search yourself just to see what comes up? Ok maybe it's just me, but you should do it because you might just find something interesting. Like a story about christmas that you wrote a billion years ago. And I think it's so funny to read it now and be able to see how I was trying to be all smart sounding, and using all these descriptive words. Too funny.

go to this link and my story is on the bottom.... try not to laugh too loud


http://www.ncsu.edu/midlink/holidays/stories.html


I'm ready for our big disappointing loss on ESPN tomorrow... are you?
k buh bye for now.

Say it Right

In the day
In the night
Say it right
Say it all
You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand or you fall
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan

Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me

The Catch

Today was a very happy day..... My classes were good, TL decided that she wants to move in together next year and mmy favorite episode (well one of them) of Sex and the City was on TV tonight... A great way to end the day. So I have posted the end of the episode for all of you out there to enjoy just as much as I do.... And can I say my favorite part is when Miranda gets hit in the head with the bouquet and then Carrie says "Now you're done." Makes me chuckle everytime. So play the first video and the then part 2 is the one under it. K?




and then part 2....





I love it. My favorite show.

Whatev

You Are 44% Girly

You're a little girly, a little boyish, and probably a whole lot indie. You have your own unique style, and it pretty much defies gender lines.

How Girly Are You?

Took this here quiz
True or not...
I don't know. But a good chuckle.

Bad Education

My new favorite band... awesome, no drummer just a girl who tap dances. And they are from Omaha.. too great.

Let Me Cry

So many things to say, but never the right words or enough energy.


What to do, what to do.


I'm just going to let it simmer for a little until I can get my thoughts straight.




She sits alone by a lamppost
Trying to find a thought thats escaped her mind
She says dads the one I love the most
But Stipes' not far behind

She never lets me in
Only tell me wheres shes been
When shes had too much to drink
I say that I dont care I just run my hands
Through her dark hair and then I pray to God
You gotta help me fly away

And just...
Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

This morning I woke up alone
Found a note sitting by the phone
Saying maybe, maybe I'll be back some day
I wanted to look for you
You walked in I didnt know just what I should do
So I sat back down and had a beer and felt sorry for
Myself.

Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

Last night I tried to leave
Cried so much I just
Could not believe
She was the same girl I
Fell in love with long ago
She went in the back to
Get high
I sat down on my couch
And cried
Yelling oh mama please
Help me
Wont you hold my hand.

And
Let her cry...if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing...if it eases all her pain
Let her go...let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be...let her be.

History lesson

What do you do when someone you've known seems to change overnight? Someone you thought you knew so well, just all of a sudden, is different. You think maybe you're the one who is going in the opposite or wrong direction. But I don't think so. I think I've made positive changes, for the most part, as opposed to negative downhill spirals. But what if this person is harming themselves, or completely not acting like themself. (Or at least the self you know to be the true self) Is that a call for us to step in, take a risk and confront it? Because I feel like most of the time, that approach only has 2 outcomes: Bad and Worse. Or is it a matter of how important the relationship is to you? Is it worth the risk? Nobody knows. I know I don't. But sometimes it scares me. Like if I wait too long then something bad will happen, or it will get so out of control, and then I am helpless. Just like when I was little. History repeats itself.

Sometimes I feel like people don't take seriously why I've made the choices I have made in my life. They don't get the urgency or the relevance. It could be because they don't know the whole story. But that's my fault. Or maybe it's because they don't ask, or they don't care to know.

Untitled

I don't know why but lately I have been really sad. I can't really put my finger on it, but it's kind of like I feel like something is missing. And it's so strange because all my life I have been telling myself what I do and do not need and now it's like all that has changed. Is it because I am getting older? Or is it because I am feeling left out? I don't know. Maybe it's because I feel like it's almost there, but not quite. Like it's in my grasp and all I have to do is take and hold it, but I'm too afraid that I will drop it and lose it. Or maybe I'm not seeing what's really there.
I think my confidence level and outside appearence has a lot to do with it. I can't remember the last time I felt comfortable in my own skin. Which ultimmately is my fault. And it's like I don't care enough about myself to change. Like I'm not even worth the effort.
I need a break. I need a break from everything. Why can't life be easy? Instead it's complicated, ridiculous and exhausting.

Sometimes I wish I could just move away and start over.

Boring

My life is boring. I don't even know why I have a blog anymore. I rarely have anything to say and no one even reads it.

But can I just point out that tonight I watched Deal or No Deal for the first time, and before I really didn't get it. And i felt really bad about myself because I felt like if my 7 year old nephew could understand it and like it, then what was my deal? But i get it now, it was like I was watching it and then I had one of those "Debbie Goddin" moments. (you know like it hits you all of a sudden) And then I realized what greg was talking about when he said it was his new favorite show, because I couldn't stop watching it and I was so into it. I was sitting in my room all by myself saying "No deal!" And then I thought to myself... This is sad, this is way sad. I felt like an 80 year old grandma eating her chicken salad sandwich and watching Deal or No Deal. But i love all those game shows, such as jeoperdy, wheel of fortune, family feud and now you can go ahead and add Deal or No freakin deal to the list. I am old. I might as well be shuffling around the apartment in a moo-moo looking for my teeth.

What is wrong with me?

goodnight all.

Lost

Do you ever feel like the life you're living now couldn't possibly really be your life. Like when you dream and then you wake up thinking what happened in your dream really happened. And you wake up either A. disappointed it was just a dream or B. happy that the nightmare you saw is over. Well my life leans more to the B option, except I don't think I have woken up yet. You see sometimes the people that you count on are the ones on which you should never depend. And why is it that everytime you get knocked down, you come back asking for more? Which is fine, I mean everyone does it. At least that's my rationalization for it. But it comes down to how much one person can take before they are worn down to nothing. How much? Too much.


Dark and twisty.

Oh Snaps

amazing. That is all I can say. Beautiful. sigh.

Ellinika

really missing greece today and pretty much every day.... =(

One of the best videos I have ever seen.

Funny, this guy is really into it too, and oh so accurate. Makes me smile everytime I watch it.

These are the times...

I cannot wait for tomorrow... Cinco de Mayo (Olé!) and Lucky Strike is going to be so much fun, mainly because all my favorite people are going. However, at the same time it is a little bittersweet because it means that the year is over and a lot of people are graduating or moving away. So sad. I am going to miss the fun roommate times. Talking until 3 am, making our random jokes, our accents (binci binci), our love of the 80's, and singing/dancing to all our favorite songs. (oh yeah and potbelly) And i'm gonna miss my sibby poo too. Who's ipex am I going to touch if you're not here? i don't know.


Anywhoo, I will miss you guys.

sadness.

My eyes are getting le tired...

nighty night.

One Quick thought before I go to bed.

"There is really nothing more to say - except why. But since why is difficult to handle, one must take refuge in how."

-Toni Morrison



This is a good quote for many reasons and if you know me, then you know what it refers to. Powerful isn't it?
That is all.

That's where it is...

Make her laugh. Pick her up and pretend you're going to throw her in the pool... she'll scream and fight you but secretly, she'll love it. Tell her your secrets. Listen to hers. Call her just to say hi. Hold her hand while you talk. Hold her hand while you drive. Just hold her hand. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her. Protect her. Support her. Tell her stupid jokes. Tickle her, even if she says stop. Slow dance with her. When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Get her mad, then kiss her. Tease her. Let her tease you back. When you're just laying there together, rub her back. Stay up with her when she's sick. Kiss her forehead. Be faithful. Let her wear your clothes. Kiss her in the rain. And when you fall in love with her, tell her...


a fine quote I must say.



p.s I'm not looking forward to my long day tomorrow. ugh.

I should tell you....

"Trusting desire - Starting to learn
Walking through fire without a burn
Clinging - a shoulder a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins"
- I Should tell you, RENT


Some people like to pretend that they know me, or they think they know me and they've got me all figured out. Does that make sense? To me it does. I have a lot of things that have gone on in my life and I am working through them, Day by Day. Things that I haven't even told anyone. And I do mean anyone. I don't even know why I'm writing this but I think it's time that I share more, it's time to let people in, completely. That's all.


goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight

We Believe

"While the men's basketball team at George Mason University has effectively transformed itself, the campus and the surrounding areas of Northern Virginia into the most beautiful of 'Cinderellas', there are those fans that knew her before she made it to the ball. Before she was popular and still loved her when she was scrubbing floors. And while the campus bookstore has been cleaned of anything green or gold and the bandwagon is now bursting at the seams, there are those fans who feel like Andy Dufrane in the movie "The Shawshank Redemption" - that the crawl through hundreds of yards of, well you know, was worth it...
This is for the Mason fans who believe, that have always believed and will continue to believe when the bandwagon unloads, when the papers stop giving the ink, and when the ride - however long it can continue - comes to a close."



Let's Go Mason. Their fans think their players are supermen, but our Fans KNOW that we are kryptonite.

LIARS and Snitches get crutches and stiches....

This week has been a little bittersweet. It's cool that we are going to the final four and honestly NOTHING can bring me down from that because I am so excited, even though I don't get to go to the game. And then Wednesday comes, and usually things that would normally make me a little upset just really make me laugh because, I don't know, it's just funny now. But don't bring things up that you don't want to hear the answer to. You're just not gonna like everyone you come across in life. PERIOD. Face it, deal with it and move on from it.


goodnight.

Being Spanish and Hispanic are not the Same thing

Well I haven't updated in awhile and I would say that I haven't done it because I was busy, but that would probably be a lie. Anwhoo, My update for now will be short and sweet... I can't wait for the basketball game tomorrow, I am so excited for our team, and elated that they are finally getting the recognition that they deserve. I have been overwhelmed with emotion. On another note, I hate my living situation right now. I really cannot comprehend how some people have been raised. I mean did we not all learn at least how to pick up after ourselves and respect other's belongings? Guess not. I cannot even begin to describe my frustration to anyone over this. The audacity is mind-blowing. And I have gotten to the point where I am done being nice and I am even done being cordial. All of that has been thrown out the window. But I am tired and falling asleep as I sit here, but i'm glad I have 2 good roomates at least, people that I can talk to, who feel my pain and people I can laugh with.



Ican'tworklikedat.



vinci aka val

Anthem of Our Dying Day

The stars will cry
The blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
And here I am
Pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
That's exactly
Exactly what I need

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

For a second I wish the tide
Would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face
If you were here
I swear I won't miss a beat
Cause I never
Never have before

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem
Of our dying day

-Story of The Year


...nuff said.

goodnight kids

You aren't my good luck charm anymore.

I don't know what it is, but this week did not start off on the wrong foot and now everything seems messed up. I hate it when that happens. This also causes a chain reaction that goes all the way down to my desire, or should I say lack thereof, to do work.

It is being brought to my attention that my mother actually instilled a life lesson in me. You really can't "put all your eggs in one basket". It sets you up for failure and heartache. No matter how good it is and for how long, you will always come crashing back down to reality. Unfortunately, I am learning this lesson the hard way. All my friends have their boyfriends now and seem to have no time for me anymore. I must say it is quite lonely. And even when they are physically there, I don't really feel like they are there. That makes sense, right?

It's been one of those down days, let's hope tomorrow will be better.



big sigh.

Marigolds and Mary Janes

All I want to say is that Toni Morrison is one of the most talented writers of our time. The way she uses language gets you all excited when you read it and makes you stop and say, wow. Just wow. I read The Bluest Eye for the second time and I must say when I read the first time I just didn't get it. Granted I was very young, but I missed it. After reading it again, I get it. It's powerful. Sometimes I think I should be an english major because honestly, these kinds of things excite me. They move me.

Anyways I am extremely tired but I wanted to share that with you. If you haven't read The Bluest Eye, I suggest that you do. Or I should say strongly suggest. Just do it.


goodnight