Lately I've been thinking about my friendships, not by choice mind you, but by their mere actions. I have a friend who I've known forever, or so it seems. He can tell when I'm angry or had a bad day solely by my intonation or expression. Then there's the friend who likes to pretend that she is there for me, yet when I turn my back she is either gone or talking about me and my flaws, whatever they might be and regardless if there is truth to back such judgements. She is a "fly by night" friend as my parents would say. So why can't I cut the cord, pull the plug, kick her to the curb? I don't know. Maybe it's because I hold on to the good times, the laughs, the late-night storytelling. But then I think, how much can one person take? How many times can they be lied to until they blow up? When someone outright lies to your face it's like saying "You're too stupid to figure it out, or know better". That's how I feel. it's a power thing. Or maybe it's because they are scared of the truth. She know when she comes to me and says "Val, I did something really bad..." (which sadly happens a lot) I'm not gonna sugar-coat my response. I'll say that wasn't smart or tell her the truth whether or not she wants to hear it. I would ask a friend to do the same for me. So why am I friends with someone like that, someone who lies, abandons me in a time of need, even though when she needs me I am always there, no matter what. She needs to talk, I come right away. Kinda reminds me of high school. (hated it, enough said) I don't know. Just don't know.
sigh.
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